I'm under the impression that most people think that people who have "no more will to live" are often depressed. Maybe most people do see most irresolute people as often depressed. Maybe most irresolute people are depressed. Regardless, I am not depressed...
It really does seem like the only reason I'm living are because of trivial desires. Finishing a book, finishing a video game, and wanting to eat, for example. I don't feel like I want to accomplish anything or be successful, really. I'm not really afraid of death anymore, but like most other living creatures I am afraid of pain. But... I guess for me I'm not actively afraid of pain. I only really think about things like that when I'm directly faced with things like that.
Am I useless? Even if I am, I wouldn't care, and I doubt I ever will.
Sometimes, at night, lying in my bed, I wonder what's happened to me. But only for a brief moment. And then, I continue to stare at the wall, not thinking. Just staring.
If I died I'd be asleep forever. I remember used to long for that eternal sleep. What do I long for now? Whatever is necessary for my most basic survival.
It really does seem like the only reason I'm living are because of trivial desires. Finishing a book, finishing a video game, and wanting to eat, for example. I don't feel like I want to accomplish anything or be successful, really. I'm not really afraid of death anymore, but like most other living creatures I am afraid of pain. But... I guess for me I'm not actively afraid of pain. I only really think about things like that when I'm directly faced with things like that.
Am I useless? Even if I am, I wouldn't care, and I doubt I ever will.
Sometimes, at night, lying in my bed, I wonder what's happened to me. But only for a brief moment. And then, I continue to stare at the wall, not thinking. Just staring.
If I died I'd be asleep forever. I remember used to long for that eternal sleep. What do I long for now? Whatever is necessary for my most basic survival.
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